Keeping Track

So, the last few days have gone rather well.  Except for yesterday.  By 5 pm, all I had eaten was 2 pieces of string cheese.  This clearly set me up for a bit of a binge, because by the time I got home from working an unexpected shift at work and running a couple errands, I was RAVENOUS.  I stop by the store, grabbed some reduced fat salami and some Triscuits. I thought that a couple servings of each would make me less hungry, and it didn't.  I was just as hungry, if not more so.  I ended up eating FOUR servings of each, just because it was there and easy.  Then I had some more Triscuits.  I eventually just stopped keeping track.  The bf made some trout and brown rice for dinner, and I had a few ounces of trout and a cup of rice. I felt full but had a serious fro-yo craving, so I headed down to u-swirl.  I didn't do too bad, I loaded the cup half way with fruit and then topped it with frozen yogurt, but I still ate a lot more than I needed to.  Oh well.

Today is a new day, and my goal is to plan better for these situations.  I need to have a game plan every day so that I don't get so off track just because I am hungry and ill prepared.   Today, I went for a run (still on track for my half marathon training) and ate an egg white omelet afterwards.  I am about to go out and finish my mileage for the day and then come home and pack my lunch for work.  After all, it's only 251 days until I turn 30, and I need to be focused and dedicated if I want to start this new decade feeling my absolute best.

Restarting, AGAIN

2 days ago, I decided to rededicate myself to a healthy lifestyle.  I am not doing anything groundbreaking or new.  Just running 4 times a week in preparation for the half marathon I am running in October.  I am taking a moderate approach to food: counting calories and using moderation for those indulgences.  No food is off limits, it just needs to fit into my allotted caloric intake for the day.  I have gotten all the way up to 187 pounds, and with my friend's 30th birthday celebrations just 3 months away, I want to feel great when I go to their parties and look at their pictures.   I'm not expecting mind blowing results, but if I could lose 20 pounds in the next 3 months, then 30 additional pounds in the months following, I would be down 50 pounds.  I just need to stay focused, get rid of that all or nothing mindset, and keep going at a steady pace until I reach my goal.  I can do it.  I have the tools, I just need to have the heart and the dedication.

Where to start

  I am finding myself in a place I never thought I would be.  I am staring 30 straight in the face, and there is really only one thing I feel like I need to conquer before that benchmark birthday.  I'm a little over a year away.  420 days for those who are counting.  I feel like everything else in my life is how I want it to be, or at least headed in the right direction.  Everything, that is, except my weight.

  I was always a pretty slim in my youth.  I was active and even though I ate my share of junk food, I had a pretty small appetite that kept portions pretty small.  I'm not one of those people that can pin point exactly where my weight struggles started. I remember thinking I was fat about the age of 19, but in all reality I was still in a healthy weight range at 5'3" and 130 pounds.  At age 20, I got up to 150 pounds.  That seemed horribly fat to me, so I started running everyday until I was back down to 130 again.  A few months later, I got sidelined by a catastrophic, life changing injury to my shoulder that took years to recover from.  I gained a little here, and a little there, but was still mostly at a happy weight.  Once I turned 21, eating fast food and drinking became a regular part of my life, and my body showed it.  Since then, my weight has just gradually crept on.  I got married, had a child, got divorced.  None of these things dramatically changed where my weight was hovering at: 170 pounds.  Sure I gained past that during my pregnancy, but I lost it pretty quickly. I've had times where my weight was closer to 160, and others where it was closer to 190, but the median weight was pretty consistent. I am ready to change that. I am ready to make a commitment to my life, my health, and my happiness.  I want to finally leave my discontent with my body behind, and rediscover how to embrace a healthy lifestyle.

  Today is day one.  I am cutting processed foods out of my diet, and for two weeks, will be cutting out most carbs altogether.  Carbs seems to be my weak spot, and sometimes it helps me to just purge myself of them, and slowly introduce healthy carbs back in.  I will be loosely following the South Beach Diet, but I mostly just feel like I can benefit from living a life with minimal processed foods and more physical activity.  So here is to the next 420 days.  It's going to be an interesting journey, one with ups and downs to be experienced.  I know I can do this, as long as I truly commit to making positive changes and believe in myself and my ability to finish this battle once and for all.